People often ask me how I had the courage to move from my home town in San Jose, California to a small town in Turkey.
It’s a love story, but it almost didn’t happen.
I was engaged to marry a tall, dark, handsome Turk that I’d met in graduate school, and I was in a complete panic because even though I was in love and ready to be married, I suddenly thought it was the craziest idea ever to leave the home that I loved to move half way across the world and start a whole new life.
I had no job, I didn’t speak Turkish, I had no friends, no community outside of my (now) husband.
I had knots in my stomach and I couldn’t eat or sleep because I was completely paralyzed by the unknown.
All the wedding invitations had gone out, deposits had been paid to vendors for our celebration and it was about 6 weeks until the big day.
It would have been fine if I’d decided not to get married. It would have been easier if I’d said I wasn’t really in love. I could have called everything off even though all the arrangements had been made.
But I was in love with my husband.
The uncertainty of my future was being weighted against the love in my heart.
Thankfully, I had the wisdom to bring it up with my dad who said:
“Tara, we know you love G, and we do too. But you do not have to get married. You do not have to go through with this. We can call it off.”
Relief. I had a way out.
My dad continued, “But … think of your life 10 years from now. What will you regret more? If you don’t get married, will you look back on your life and wonder what might have been? Because if you will, then maybe you get married and you give it a try. Maybe you go and see what happens. And if it doesn’t work out, you can always come back home.”
Wait. He had a good point.
“And if you’re going to give it a try Tara,” my dad said, “Give 150%. Give it your best try so if you do decide to come back home, at least you’ll know you’ve done your best.”
I know the truth when I hear it, don’t you?
So I decided, even though I was terrified and uncertain of what life in Turkey would be like, I decided I didn’t want to regret my life ten years later, and the love I felt for my husband was greater than the doubts, fears and uncertainty I was feeling.
At least I was willing to give it a try, even if I wasn’t certain.
It always does.
And though it hasn’t been easy, it’s been so worth it.
Ten years after getting married, I spoke for TurkishWIN about my decision and my dad’s advice, and now 15 years on, I still see the head of uncertainty poke into my own life, the life of my clients, and the lives of the people in my community of leaders.
When I speak with prospective clients, they often ask me for a guarantee of results and I tell them I can’t give them one.
I don’t know what will happen.
I don’t know if they will succeed.
I don’t know if they will make more money, win awards, get investor funding, or grow their business.
I don’t know what will happen in the world tomorrow, or even later on today.
Life is unpredictable.
Even the goals I set for myself each month are really more of intentions.
I can take actions, but I can’t guarantee results.
The only thing I can control are the thoughts I think and the actions I take.
But what I do know is that when we set powerful intentions and take actions based on those intentions, and have a vision that is greater than we are, and devote ourselves to serving in a way that makes the local and global communities better, and give 150% EVEN IF we are uncertain of the future, amazing things can happen.
Doors open up.
People and partners cross our path and help us take steps forward.
We are offered inspiring opportunities.
And love wins.
It always does.
These companies, teams and movements are making us healthier, happier, more educated, more beautiful, more motivated, more entertained, more well-read and better overall.
If this is a community you are interested in joining, I would be delighted to welcome you. It’s free to join, but requires an invitation.
I would love to welcome you to our community if you have an inspiring track record, a heart for serving others, a big vision, and desire to get professional coaching support and the community to help you launch or grow your idea into something larger than yourself.
Hope to see you in one of our virtual live Wednesday community gatherings!
Tagged as: action, action plan, California, community, Creative Impact Studio, doubt, expat, fatherly advice, free laser coaching, free training, graduate school, intention, Istanbul, leaders, leadership, leadership coaching, love, marriage, panic, parents, regret, San Jose, training, Turkey, Turkish, TurkishWIN, uncertainty, vision, wisdom, women leaders